Discussions with believers

Why can I never have a proper discussion with someone "of faith", about their faith? They are more than happy to elaborate at length about their point of view, but more often than not, they are not willing to hear about mine. Or they will comment on it as though I need pity, as though I am unenlightened, bless me. For instance, discussing what happens after death. Obviously this is the key debate and the reason, as I see it, why most people believe in a god in the first place. Ask a believer what they think happens, and they will describe something about your soul, how it detaches from your body and joins your loved ones' souls up in heaven. You can challenge that; by pointing out scientific discoveries regarding how the various cells and structures of the brain determine your personality and your mind, and that once these die what makes you YOU is lost forever. You can challenge it by saying that the physiology of other animals is virtually the same, and some even have a basic sense of self, yet why don't they go to heaven when they die? You can challenge it by saying that where is heaven, where is god, where do all the souls go and how is there room? But you will always be met with the same answers. Woolly ones. Describing god as on another level, heaven is in a different dimension, your soul isn't physical yada yada. The default argument for all religion. The religious trump card of "god is so almighty you cannot sense him, or comprehend him, so you cannot say he doesn't exist based on lack of evidence". What a cop out. I would really love for a believer to stop spouting this, and try reasoning with me on the same level. I don't use magic to explain gravity. I don't use aliens to explain disappearances. I don't need to. As a scientist, I am happy to say I don't know things, but I want to find out. I do not make up explanations for things I do not understand, just to make myself feel better. I do not need to appease myself that my family and eventually myself will all be reunited in heaven, so that dying doesn't seem so traumatic. This is termed "sad" by my religious friends. How sad, they say, when I tell them I think I will just rot after I die. What is more sad is that they haven't faced up to the fact that there may not be something afterwards, because these people from day zero have been indoctrinated into religions based on heaven, hell and a creator. How sad, if they turn out to be deluded. How sad thst they never faced up to death, or their lives, properly, because they thought on some level they would carry on.